Sticks and Stones

You may or may not know that I serve as an usher at our church , two Sundays on, and two Sundays off at the late service. I get a real kick out of it because it gives me a chance to interact with all of my friends who attend the service. There is more to the job than just greeting people, and we have a lot of duties that we have to do while the main business up front is going on. However, when the pastor starts the sermon, we get to sit back and relax for a bit. Since I am hard of hearing, I sort of look forward to this quiet time to think about other things. Chances are I can only pick up one word in ten, so I don't bother to pay attention. This is the time I can use to think about mowing my lawn or what I'm going to do on the job tomorrow or what I could write about in my blog. Last Sunday was just a little bit different. Evidently I didn't allow my mind to wander as much as usual, and I did manage to pick up a few words toward the end, and they really caught my attention.

The pastor closed his sermon with the phrase, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can break my heart". I had never heard it that way before. Harsh and unkind words, especially aimed at someone dear to you, can really damage your relationship, and you may never completely recover. When I was in basic training, my best friend happened to be black. He was an element leader, as I was, so we had a lot in common and spent quite a bit of time together. One day, we were sitting on our bunks polishing our shoes, and I off-handedly made a comment that my shoes shined like a black man's heel. Of course, my insensitive reference included the "N" word. I noticed a heavy silence, and when I looked up I knew that I had deeply offended him. He said, "Ron, I didn't know you felt that way". I apologized, and tried with all the persuasion within me to convince him that I didn't mean anything by it, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and I lost my friend. Our pastor said it's like trying to get toothpaste back into the tube after you have squeezed out too much. Once you let your words come out of your mouth, they are out there, and there is no way you can put them back.